April 2003 - Nr. 4

Narrenzunft Storms Region Chambers

Lowers Taxes, assigns Goatkeeper

by Herwig Wandschneider

On 03.03.03, 4 hours after 3.03pm the Concordia Narrenzunft under the leadership of Prince Richard and Princess Kerstin, accompanied by Narrenzunft dignitaries, staff, and members of the Concordia Band, marched to the tunes of carnival into council chambers and took position behind the seated Councillors in charge of the Region of Waterloo.

The somewhat puzzled-looking councillors seemed unsure about what was happening to them and rather reluctantly obeyed the command of Prince Richard to vacate their seats, which were immediately occupied by members of the Narrenzunft. Their puzzlement was not surprising, it was after all the very first time that the Region was taken over. (In previous years the Mayors and City Councillors lost their jobs, when the City Halls were taken over).

Delighted that the takeover of the Region’s Administration proceeded without resistance, Prince Richard proceeded to announce immediate changes for the Region, underlined by a fanfare from the 5 members of the Concordia Band each step of the way :

• Amalgamation: the name of the new City would be Kitwatcam

• Pesticides: The Region will give each household a goat to reduce weeds and lawnmower use. Jim Wideman is assigned the Goatkeeper job.

• Drinking Water: Bill Strauss and Doug Bergman are appointed the official Royal Water Tasters for the Region

• Tax Decrease: Effective Nov 11^th to Ash Wednesday. Refunds of $75 to be mailed. Carl Zehr will get this organized with the Province

• Kitchener Rangers: Tom Galloway and Jake Smola will be official coaches, so there will be a Memorial Cup victory (money)

• Smoking By-law: Great thing. To those who hate to do it out in the cold, the Princess is to hand out Popeye cigarettes

• Attendance: Councillors without a perfect attendance record will be required to dress as ladies at the next Crazy Ladies Night. Jane Brewer, Jean Haalboom, Jane Mitchell to coordinate

Good Management and effective delegating. As Ken Seiling hands over the keys to the Region he is seen to be silently praying. Citizens might just vote democratically for the new Regime.

Fretting over such serious issues was interrupted by a controlled departure of the new and old regimes as they accepted the invitation to celebrate the event at the Concordia Club. They left the imposing Regional Chambers to the tune of "When the Saints go Marching In" and headed for the Schenke, where Ken Seiling and his elite councillors observed the strange beer-drinking and dancing habits of the new regime. Aside from the merry beer-drinking and and dancing, Elane Keller, one of the Garde Girls, gave a stunning high speed floor-gymnastics performane, nearly impossible to catch with the camera.

It gets even stranger as the night joyously proceeds with Alaaf and Helaus and Hoppeditz suddenly collapsing on the floor after merely watching the dynamic, bone crunching olympic style gymnastics of Elane.

Poor Hoppeditz, exhausted and stretched out on the dance floor, gets carefully transported into his resting place – a beautifully arranged black coffin carried with dignity and sad eyes into the Schenke. As Hoppeditz is made comfortable, including a parting glass of champagne, women in black garb wail and cry to bid him a good rest, wishing and hoping that in 8 months he will awaken again and be up and around to start another great Carnival season.

Don’t know if the citizens of Waterloo Region would vote all those otherwise serious politicians back into office, if they had seen how much fun they had abandoning control of the Region and how much they enjoyed their off-duty participation with this hilarious crowd and their traditions. Point is, if you cannot enjoy some of the relaxing traditions that help you temporarily forget the serious day to day challenges and events, you will never learn how to handle them. All those, who participated clearly appreciated the traditions, the relaxation and enjoyment … they all deserve to have their jobs back.

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