When I sometimes after a received compliment countered: "Thank you, not bad for an old broad", I often met with raised eyebrows. While I thought that I was being funny others felt that this sort of self depreciative remark was inappropriate, and right they were! Why would anyone call themselves by a degrading name?

I have not come up with an answer other than the fact that I heard it said once or twice somewhere, and in those situations it was funny and I adopted the phrase without a second thought as my funny response to compliments. It never occurred to me that someone might think it not cool that I sounded so down on myself.

Self-depreciation like that is often a sign of other abrasive behavior, described in our culture as a lack of self-esteem. I can put your doubts to rest on that: I actually think rather highly of myself and have enough confidence not to be jarred by the unflattering remarks of others about me. However, most of us, I included, have habits we are not aware of or have not been made aware of, that do not sit right with others. Lucky are those who have a friend who honestly - without berating you - will point this out to you. After a while you might actually hear him/her and listen and stop doing this thing that is so unbecoming, because you became aware of it.

But we live in culture where the ME-ME-ME Syndrome is at its highest level. Our self-absorption often goes so far as to not be aware of the real meaning of anything. That does not surprise if we have a look around and really see what is offered up out there in way of influences to our culture and how that is mimicked in return. The material glamour girl in a material glitter world chatting meaningless clacking with a girlfriend while on the bus to or from work or school; and the bionic-looking man in a pin-striped suit with cell-phone receiver glued into the ear, blackberry at the ready, a world-removed look on his face, eyes not concentrating on anything, jabbering and texting away as he makes his way home.

How come these people turned out this way, live this way?

All around us are offerings of goods and services that promise to address our material needs. Often they promise other benefits that go beyond the obvious: A raising of prestige, success with men/women, better acceptance by our superiors and peers, higher salaries and more fun than anything else, and there even is the promise of speaking for us without having to say a word.

What brought all this on? I received an email about a store called Brazen Hussy on Queen Street that advertises a fashion show of the Le Malek brand: "The Le Malek lifestyle brand awakens the bad bitch gene that exists in every girl’s genetic code…" and so on, you get the picture.

I went to the website of this fashion wannabe empire and actually was surprised, not at the goods offered, not my style at all, yet fun, but at the blog comments, which read rather nicely and were not at all in keeping with the image that was forwarded in the promotional piece. What I really do not get is this self-depreciating image creating, this gimmick crap of…did it start with "I’m bad, I’m bad" and a moonwalk in a popular music video of a now unpopular singer?

Is this what is meant by generation gap, or am I seeing this correctly as a decline in general of our societal values, something that is going downhill fast without speed bumps? You take a look for yourself and tell me what you think. I am sure of one thing: There is a definite communication gap!

Until next time

Sybille Forster-Rentmeister